Within the opinion of the Atticist, the most effective golf guide of all time is not the story of a sweet-swinging Scottish mystic, or an up-to-nothing caddy, or a foreball at Cypress Level.
It is “Leslie Nielsen’s Silly Little Golf Guide,” a set of absurdist ideas and insights co-authored by the late, legendary comic and actor. bare gun Star. Along with information about grip (“all the time maintain the membership on the skinny finish the place the size of the rubber merchandise is”) and shortcuts to shaving strokes out of your rating (“skip the final gap”), Nielsen affords steering on methods to methods to drive automotive
Amongst his options is a maneuver he calls a “fast begin”—it is higher to provide the buggy a quick, sudden acceleration, a gentle case of whiplash, as quickly as your working mate is seated. He additionally recommends a method often known as a “brusheroo,” which includes driving the automotive so near timber and hedges that your passenger could also be grazed by leaves and limbs.
In fact, Nielsen is joking. However even jokingly, he factors to 1 reality: In reality, there’s a code of conduct surrounding trains—the foundations of the street, or quite, paths and fairways, that make the game safer and extra pleasurable for everybody.
With that in thoughts, listed below are 9 basic items it is best to comply with if you’re unable or unwilling to stroll.
1. Rule of 90 Levels
All the things it’s essential to know concerning the 90-degree rule you realized in seventh grade geometry. Designed to scale back put on and tear on the turf, it asks you to maintain the automotive on the observe till you may flip your ball at a proper angle. Usually, this solely applies to some pores, particularly if it is a moist day, and never the complete course. The starter can inform you the place that is efficient, though the knowledge will also be written on the scorecard, so contemplate this a possibility to make use of your seventh grade listening and studying abilities as effectively.
2. Regulation of no hurt
It’s within the course on Sunday. Not Sunday! Within the demolition derby on Sunday. Reckless driving will be dangerous to the course and harmful to folks. So be sensible and protected. Resist the urge to plow with ropes and sticks. Keep away from sopping turf, bunker edges, water hazards, mounds, tea packing containers, run-ups from greens and greens. Do not put it round curves. Keep away from off-roading. Oh, and the uncommon presence of oncoming visitors is not an invite to a sport of rooster.
3. Darwin Prize Rule
This could go with out saying however we’ll say it anyway: Maintain your automotive away from the road of fireside, particularly once you’re sitting in it.
4. Regulation of Velocity of Play
One of many paradoxes of the game is that the experience is commonly slower than the working. It’s annoying and pointless. If it is simply the kart path, deliver a bunch of golf equipment with you to your ball, quite than making a number of rounds. In case you have a passenger, do not be a passive spectator to their drama. Go away them the place they should be, then quick ahead in your ball so that you’re able to play when it is your flip.
5. Gun-Etiquette Guidelines
Be alert and energetic if you’re a traveller. Take the wheel and drive the automotive when it’s referred to as. And do not sit there watching your accomplice play. This may also assist preserve your spherical shifting.
6. Parking Guidelines
When it’s time to put, park your automotive behind the inexperienced. That is the proper factor to do for the group behind you, because it retains the sport shifting. It additionally retains you out of hurt’s means.
7. Parking Lot Guidelines
Automobiles are ready within the car parking zone for accidents to occur. Except you are bodily incapable of carrying your golf equipment just a few hundred paces, do not depend on your buggy to make the quick journey between a bag drop and your automotive.
8. Cart-in-Reverse Rule
Earlier than shifting your automotive into reverse, be sure nobody is enjoying inside earshot, as most buggies make a beep that claims “You the person!” Much more annoying than the Hollers.
9. No dustbin rule
The automotive just isn’t a dumpster. Or misplaced and located. When your day is over, acquire all head covers from the again baskets, and clear the cupholders of beer cans and Snickers wrappers. And remember your cellphone and sun shades.